This article is going to be different from my typical wrestling content here on The Warhorse, but I felt that I needed to share my story. When people think about the month of November, typically they think of Thanksgiving, giving thanks for family, and getting a week off of school. 

But for me, November has a different significance– for many reasons.

November is not only home to Children’s Grief Awareness Day, but the entire month is dedicated to Children’s Grief Awareness. This resonates with me because I am a child going through grief. Last year, on the Friday before Thanksgiving break, I was faced with the hardest day of my life. I witnessed my mom die right in front of my eyes and I couldn’t do anything to help her. She had just had her birthday on the 19th, and then 3 days later she was gone. On the 22nd of November, this Saturday, will make it one year since this has happened. 

From an article on Children’s Grief Awareness Day, I found a quote in particular that I feel sums up how I feel perfectly. “Children who have had someone die—especially a close family member—can feel the loss forever. They eventually go back to school. They might pick some activities back up. They certainly look “normal.” And yet there’s still that hole inside.” 

In recent months, with counseling and medication, I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress on coping with this devastating life change. I still have days that are harder than others, and there hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t missed my mom since she left, but I’m doing better than I was. Though I am coping better, that doesn’t mean that I’ll ever get over this. There will always be a piece of me that died that morning that I’ll never get back, no matter how “normal” I may seem.

I miss her dearly. One of the things I miss the most about her was her humor and attitude. She did not care what other people thought of her and had so much confidence in the best way possible. Her humor added into her attitude, giving her a certain brashness that was matched by love. She might have come off as mean, but shedding the layers of that she was one of the kindest people I ever knew.

I owe my life to her. Through her physical adversities, she still raised me mostly on her own, only a few times would she ask others for help. She always put me first, even before herself. She truly gave her everything to me, from things like my smile to my hobbies, truly so much of myself was influenced by her.

My mom is actually the person who introduced me to professional wrestling. I most likely would not even be writing, let alone about wrestling, if it was not for her. I would not have found a family through wrestling and found a good outlet of escapism if I never knew about its existence. My love of wrestling came from her, so when I say I owe it all to her, I truly do owe it all to her.

Everyone will go through grief at some point in their lives, and we all cope differently. Since this article is about shining light on children’s grief awareness, I figured I’d use a coping strategy, writing, while also staying on topic. 

From an article published by Harvard, it entails “Writing thank-you notes is not just good manners. It can have a strong psychological effect for both the sender and receiver… ” Going on from that, since November is Thanksgiving still, I would just like to take a moment to write a thank you note to my mom.

Dear Mom,

First off, I miss you as always. I wish you were still here. I want to thank you for everything that you did for me while you were here. I know how thing

s were ten times more difficult for you raising me since you were partially paralyzed. I’m so grateful beyond words for all you did. Thank you, I can’t wait to see you again one day.

Love, 

your Angel Baby

Happy heavenly birthday, mom. I hope you eat as much red velvet cake as you want!