As seen on Tucker Carlson Tonight, the M&Ms are no longer sexy. Tucker, the host of THE most watched news show on cable television, went on a tirade about how M&Ms have lost all of their attractiveness after their recent mascot makeover, the main culprit being the disappearance of the gogo boots previously sported by the Green M&M. The brown M&M also is no longer a “turn on” for Tucker, as she has replaced her stiletto heels with a more sensible pair of pumps. 

This section of the story is what most people picked up on, Tucker’s weird crush on smooth crotched, candy-coated chocolate. Now while Tucker took a strange angle on the rebrand, I have to agree with his main premise that it is ridiculous that M&M would change the shoes of their mascots for the sake of inclusion or feminism or whatever buzzword they chose. It’s a mockery of any real attempt at diversifying media with positive women role models or advocating for real change like workplace equality and reproductive rights. To the M&Ms, feminism is girl bossing and business casual footwear.

Now under all this liberal posturing and conservative anger lies a more depressing truth. Close to one year ago, a lawsuit was launched against the Hershey, Nestle, and Mars corporations, the latter being the owners of the M&M brand. This lawsuit alleges that Mars aided and abetted in the enslavement of thousands of children on West Africa’s Ivory Coast, the home to countless farms that supply cacao. This is not the first of its kind. Even ignoring the slavery allegation, Mars still has an ugly history of using child labor in under-developed countries that they have lazily tried to repent for with 20-year action plans.

Now I am no political scientist, but child labor is a far cry from the “global commitment to creating a world where everyone feels they belong” that Mars has claimed to take up with their rebrand. Unless Mars thinks that West African kids just so happen to belong in the cacao farms. 

So when the next viral marketing scheme comes along, look beyond the silly color commentary and find what’s going on beneath the surface, because the media will focus on Tucker and the M&Ms while the children of the Ivory Coast are held under the boot, tennis shoe, or sensible pump of the Mars Corporation.